My Cleaning Schedule

If you've ever been to my house you know that I'm not the best housekeeper. To be honest... I hate cleaning. For reals. 

I go to other peoples houses and wonder, "How do they do it?" Even when I am keeping up with the house work by the end of the day I look around and it looks like I didn't do any cleaning at all! Ugh, it never ends!

When Stella was first born we were living in Elk River, it's a long story and I won't go into it right now but we were living at my parents house. (They had moved out.) I really struggled those first couple months to get anything done. Stella wanted to cuddle all the time and I was enjoying every minute of it. I was still in the early stages of motherhood and finding enough time to even take a shower was a struggle. But because we were living at my parents house everyone and their brother knew where we lived... so it wasn't uncommon for the doorbell to ring unexpectedly in the middle of the day because someone wanted to see the baby. I appreciated all of the love we received and welcomed everyone in the house with open arms but my house was a disaster! We have three dogs... one being a very big dog that sheds more than any dog I have ever seen, so there was constantly dog hair all over the floor. Ick! I feel sorry for those poor people who came to visit and had to sit in my dirty house. 

So when we bought the house in Hastings I decided I needed to step it up and become a better housekeeper. Some days are better than others but most of the time the house is "pop-in ready". Which means if someone were to just "pop-in" unexpectedly the house would be in decent shape and I wouldn't feel sorry for the visitors who had to be in the house. Of course, now we live 60 miles away from Elk River so unexpected pop-ins never happen anymore.

To keep the house "pop-in ready", I created a cleaning schedule. I keep it in a sheet protector on my fridge and use a wet erase marker to check off the tasks. Then I just wipe it off and reuse it the next week. 

Ignore the fact that nothing is actually checked off of this list. :)

Do I do every item listed for the day everyday? No. I try to, but again, some days are better than others. When I do keep up with the list it makes cleaning a lot easier and quicker. Because I'm basically just doing touch ups everyday. Each day I have a different area I focus on, like on Wednesdays I clean the bathroom, (luckily we only have one right now, as the other is being renovated, that long journey will be a future post) this makes cleaning more attainable. If I had to deep clean the entire house in one day it would be overwhelming. This way it is broken up into smaller tasks and I'm more likely to keep up with it. I always feel gross when the house is a mess and now with Stella crawling and getting into everything I feel better knowing the floors have been vacuumed and mopped on a regular basis. 

Here is a close up of my schedule. 

Lately, I've been slacking a bit. (Hence the blank schedule shown hung on my refrigerator.) A lot of my time has been focused on The Harper Project and my new adventure selling candles on my Etsy shop. I'm hoping by posting this it will give me the motivation to get my butt in gear and get back on track. 

Do you have a cleaning schedule that you use to help keep your house clean? What has worked for you and what hasn't? I love getting new ideas!

Candle Making & Etsy

Making votive candles for Memory Boxes.

For part of The Harper Project Memory Boxes I handmade some small votive candles, I had never done any candle making before but I found that I really enjoyed doing it. So I started making more; different scents, colors, and containers. I decided to add them to my Etsy shop. I've had the shop for a while under a different name selling other items (I say selling very loosely) I've made and hadn't really done much with it so I changed the name to reflect the project (and also because I had to register The Harper Project as a "doing business as" name with the Secretary of State and I never did that with my old Etsy shop name) and decided to sell everything with the idea that the proceeds will go towards the The Harper Project Memory Boxes.

Making candles for the Etsy shop.

Not every item in the shop is for The Harper Project or babyloss but some of the items are. But for every item I sell a portion of the *proceeds will go towards the Memory Boxes. I have candles available now and I hope to have different scents available soon. I'd also like to sell other items geared toward babyloss. I'm hand making some bracelets for the Memory Boxes and if I get them figured out well enough I'd like to sell those too. I know that I have looked on Etsy for items specifically designed for babyloss that I can wear or have in the house as a memorial for Harper. 

Here is a breakdown of how much money will go towards the project for each item sold:

4oz candle tin ($6) or jar ($8) - $3 will go towards The Harper Project.
8oz candle tin ($7) or jar ($9) - $4 will go towards The Harper Project.
Nursery Art - $5 will go towards The Harper Project. 
(If you checked out my shop within the last few days, check it out again. I've adjusted some of the shipping prices. I'm still new at this and just got my mail scale from amazon yesterday.)

etsy.com/shop/theharperprojectshop

Any items bought before April 30th will have the donation go towards this years project. Sales after the 30th will go for next year.

It is a way to spread the word about The Harper Project all year and maybe babyloss families can find them on my Etsy shop and use them for their memorials while helping this project as well.

Click here --->The Harper Project Shop to go to the shop.

If anyone in the Elk River, Hastings or Mankato/Janesville area is interested in making a purchase and isn't in a rush for the product contact me first because *if* I can deliver you the items I have a code I can give you for free shipping.

Needed items for Memory Boxes

Donations and items I've collected for the Memory Boxes and Mommy Care Kits.

I've had a lot of people ask me what items are still needed for the Memory Boxes. I have 10 "boxes" put together at this point. Because this project is so new there is a big learning curve for me, so I thought I would list each box and what it has and what it still needs to give people an idea of what I'm still in need of. 

Box #1
Has: Figurine, candle, journal, picture frame, headband, seed packet & stuffed animal
Needs: Bracelet, Blanket
Box #2
Has: Figurine, candle, journal, picture frame, headband, seed packet & stuffed animal
Needs: Bracelet, Blanket
Box #3
Has: Candle, journal, picture frame, headband, seed packet & stuffed animal
Needs: Figurine or keepsake item, bracelet, blanket
Box #4
Has: Candle, journal, picture frame, headband, seed packet & stuffed animal
Needs: Figurine or keepsake item, bracelet, blanket
Box #5
Has: Candle, journal, picture frame, seed packet & stuffed animal
Needs: Figurine or keepsake item, blanket, bracelet
Box #6
Has: Candle, journal, picture frame, seed packet & stuffed animal
Needs: Figurine or keepsake item, blanket, bracelet
Box #7
Has: Candle, journal, picture frame, seed packet & stuffed animal
Needs: Figurine or keepsake item, blanket, bracelet

(Apparently, I can't count because I went from 7 to 9 in my inventorying, so please ignore)

Box #9

Has: Candle, journal, picture frame, seed packet & stuffed animal
Needs: Figurine or keepsake item, blanket, bracelet
Box #10
Has: Candle, journal, picture frame, seed packet & stuffed animal
Needs: Figurine or keepsake item, blanket, bracelet
Box #11
Has: Candle, journal, picture frame, seed packet & stuffed animal
Needs: Figurine or keepsake item, blanket, bracelet

The start of the Memory Boxes coming together, these still need some items and to be decorated.

So you can see that at the moment what I'm in need of the most is keepsake items, blankets and bracelets, also headbands for some of the boxes. 

Keepsake items can be angel figurines, angel ornaments, necklaces with angel wings or baby feet pendants. Or any item that you would give to someone who has just experienced a death in the family. 

Blankets are recommended to be hand made, knit, or crocheted - small in size like receiving blanket size or slightly bigger. Some families may use these blankets to wrap their baby in. 

The idea behind the headbands & bracelets came from the nurse at the hospital who is in charge of the babyloss program. They take pictures of the baby to give to the family and the nurse said she wanted to photograph the baby holding the bracelet and then the mom can take the bracelet home with her. So I'm going to be making a couple myself and I'm using white/cream beads with either pink or blue beads and then a charm. I have baby feet or doves. The headbands are to be put on the girls for pictures as well.

I am also in need of supplies to decorate the boxes. 
Fabric (it takes 3 1/5 ft by 3 ft to cover the boxes and lids, design should be "soft" not too busy or cheerful, soft flower patterns are nice)
Spray adhesive (to attach the fabric to the boxes)
White or cream colored tissue paper (to wrap some of the fragile item in that will go in the boxes)

I have not received any greeting cards. The staff likes to send cards to families on the anniversaries of their loss.

Items for the Mommy Care Kits are another idea if you are looking for something easy and inexpensive. All the items can be found at Target. Click *here* for a link to the list of items needed for the Mommy Care Kits. 

If you have an idea for something you'd like to donate that you don't see listed, please feel free to contact me!!! Donations of all kinds are welcome and the list is just a guideline. 

Click *here* for a link to a list of locations where donations can be dropped off. 

Also, I am planning to do more than 10 boxes so donations of all items are still welcome. (Click *here* for a link to the list of all the items needed.) At the end of the donation time (April 30th is the last day!) I will be using the monetary donations to fill items needed for boxes and buy supplies to decorating the boxes. Any items or money not used this year will be saved for next year.

I want to thank everyone who has already made a donation to The Harper Project! You have no idea how much it means to me to be supported by so many people! 

Please email me stellalynndesigns@gmail.com if you have any questions or to set up a donation pick up. Remember that April 30th is the last day to make your donations! And please put your name with the items that are donated so that I know where they came from!!!

Making the decision to stop breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding when you first start out is HARD. When Stella was first born and I tried breastfeeding she latched on right away and nursed like a pro so I thought, "Hey this will be easy!" 

Boy was I wrong.

As the days passed it became increasingly difficult to get Stella to nurse. At first she was just too tired, she slept ALL the time so I had to wake her up to nurse and she was too tired to try to latch on and would fall asleep instantly when she would. After that when she was awake to nurse she just couldn't get a good latch. The lactation consultant suggested we try nipple shields and those seemed to be helpful but I would have to nurse with the shields and then pump afterwords because the shields blocked nipple stimulation that would produce milk. So I was nursing for 10 mins on each side then pumping for 10 more minutes and I did that for about a week. It was such a process! (I've learned since then that lactation consultants tend to recommend nipple shields for all sorts of reasons that aren't needed.) I decided that I would just pump and then bottle feed Stella the milk. I did that for a couple weeks but I longed for the closeness you get when you nurse. So I went back to using the nipple shields. The lactation consultant said at that point my milk supply should be established enough that I could stop pumping each time after nursing. 

Stella as an itty bitty drinking a bottle of pumped milk.

Two months or so into nursing with the shields I wanted to wean Stella off of them. Even using the shields added an extra step to nursing. I couldn't just whip my boob out whenever Stella was hungry, I had to find the shields, make sure they were clean from the previous nursing session, attach the shield, keep the shield on while trying to get Stella to latch and then finally nurse. UGH! So to wean, anytime I would nurse I would try to get Stella to latch without the shield. Sometimes it would work others not so much. But one day out of the blue she just figured it out. It was so easy and nice not to have anything to hassle with when I wanted to nurse.

After finally mastering nursing, I loved it! It's such a great feeling to be able to give your baby exactly what she needs! And it's FREE! I became one of those moms who would nurse in public without a cover and I wanted to nurse Stella until after she was a year old. Ideally, I wanted to nurse her until she was 2 but we want to have another baby before then so my goal was to make it to the next pregnancy, 12-16 months. 

I loved nursing so much I would barely pump. I had just a few freezer bags with pumped milk for times when someone else would watch Stella. But since we moved, Corey and I do not get out much. Which is okay because we like to spend time with Stella whenever we can. But Corey and I are going to be taking a week long vacation in May, without the little princess. So I started pumping every night but was only getting an ounce or two a day. It was going to be impossible for me get a week long supply at that point. Plus, I would have to take the breast pump with on vacation and pump several times a day. 

Don't worry, you can't see any actual boob...

So with much sadness and regret I've made the decision to stop breastfeeding... I'm weaning Stella slowly. She will be a week or so shy of 11 months when we are completely done. I called our pediatrician (well, the lady I don't like who is covering for our regular pediatrician) and asked her what formula she recommends. And for as much as I didn't like her in person she was actually very reassuring on the phone. She went out of her way to let me know that I had done a great job by breastfeeding for as long as I did and that I shouldn't feel guilty for stopping at this point. She also said it was good for me to start early and slowly wean like I had planned. I felt a little better after talking to her. 


Today was the first day I cut out a nursing session and replaced it with a bottle. I used half pumped milk and half formula. It felt weird for me to give her a bottle... she's always been good at taking bottles but I missed the closeness I felt while nursing. I'm really really sad that I couldn't nurse longer. I mean technically I could, but logistically this is easier. 

How long did you nurse your little one for? Did you struggle when it came time to wean?

Stella's first time being sick.

Stella has never been sick before, besides a little cold or runny noise. I contribute it to my continued breastfeeding and also to the fact that she doesn't get out much so isn't around other sick people. (I'm not sure if that one is a good or a bad thing.) On Monday Stella had a runny nose but was acting normal. On Tuesday she woke up with greenish yellow goo oozing from her eyes and as the morning progressed her skin was turning pink around the eyes. She seemed to be acting normal but a little more fussy then normal. Her forehead felt a little warm but nothing that would make me super worried. I was using Young Living essential oils when I thought it was just a cold but I decided her eyes looked bad enough to bring her to the doctor. 

Our regular pediatrician is out on maternity leave so we saw whatever doctor was available. When we got there she could tell right away that Stella had pink eye. But after looking in her ears found that she also had ear infections in both ears. She also had a temp of 101.3. I felt horrible that I didn't know she had a temperature. I have never taken her temperature rectally, I'm afraid that I'm going to puncture her rectum or something. I keep telling myself that I need to buy one that takes the temperature from the ear I just haven't done it yet. 

We were given a prescription for antibiotics and sent on our way. I should also note that I did not like the doctor we saw, she was very smart but not personable at all. She was very technical in explaining things and for a layperson it was hard to understand. 

For the first couple nights it was really a struggle getting Stella to sleep. Her ears hurt her when she would lay down so we spent a couple nights sleeping in the living room in the lazy boy. But lets be honest, I did not get much sleep like that. So one morning I ended up just putting her in her crib, shut the doors, turned off the monitor, just let her cry it out and I went to bed. She must of fallen asleep eventually because I finally woke up at 9:30 and she was still sleeping. But I got some much needed rest. 

During the day she was a little more fussy then normal but she didn't want me to hold her, she would give me the "stiff arm", as Corey calls it. But if I would set her down she would cry. So that made it hard, I just wanted to comfort and cuddle her but she didn't want that.

Then on Friday I woke up with a horrible sore throat and as the day progressed I started feeling worse and worse. My ears were aching and my temperature was rising. I finally text Corey at 5pm and asked him to come home. (He gets done at 5:30 anyway) Once he was home I went to urgent care and was found to have an ear infection myself. The doctor wanted to give me a prescription decongestant but because I am breastfeeding I can't take that so I'm using Anfrin nasal spray and essential oils. I just started using essential oils and I do think that they work but I'm not at the point where I will use for Stella over medicine that my doctor prescribes. 

But Stella's small bout with sickness made me so thankful that we were blessed with a healthy baby. I can't image what it must be like for parents who have chronically sick kids. I know someone who as I write this has their newborn baby in the NICU. I can't imagine what that family is going through. I'm trying to keep that in perspective when I complain about having to take care of a sick baby.

Plymouth Drop Location Added

For those of you who know me personally, you know that I worked for Jerry's Service Inc. for over 5 years. I was pregnant with Harper while the manager of their Holiday store and after her death I remained employed with the company in a couple different positions. I never went back to work at the Holiday store though because I knew I would never be able to avoid customers unknowingly asking about the "new baby", because they had seen me ballooning for months and then returning unpregnant. Not the best way to deal with the situation probably but at the time avoidance seemed to be the lesser of evils. I did receive cards and condolences from many of the customers and I was so touched by those that reached out to us. 

The owners of Jerry's Service have graciously agreed to let their Holiday Stationstore be an official Drop Site for donations to The Harper Project. They were so amazing to my family during such a difficult time and now they are continuing their awesomeness by becoming a drop site and allowing me to put up flyers in the store as well. 

The store address is: 16825 County Rd. 24 Plymouth, MN 55447  (There are several Holiday stores in Plymouth and a couple close to this location but this particular Holiday Stationstore is the only location accepting donations at this time. If you go to any of the other Holidays they won't have any idea about this project.)

Phone: (763) 551-3914 

Hours: Monday - Friday: 6am - 11pm

             Saturday & Sunday: 7am - 11pm