Fall Colors Tree Project 2014 (or something like that)

The tree in our front yard is beautiful! It's an oak tree (I'm pretty sure, I'm no botanist). In the fall it turns the most beautiful shades of yellow, orange and red. Then it starts to shed it's leaves. I'm not sure if that is the correct term for when a tree loses it's leaves. I guess it would be better to say, "the leaves start to fall". Whatever. You get my point. The leaves come off the branches and end up on the ground. Ok? Lots and lots of them. I've raked 2 times this year. Some of you may have raked more, but at my parents house we had a sweeper that we could pull behind the riding John Deere mower. Easy. When I moved out I always rented so it wasn't my problem. At the house in Zimmerman we were in the country so nobody cared if we raked, and most of the trees shed their leaves in the woods and not on my lawn. So raking 2 times is more then I'm used too, alright?

Now we live in a neighborhood. And the neighbor directly next door to us has the most perfectly manicured lawn. He is literally outside everyday from spring to fall doing something to his grass. Mowing it, raking it, watering it, feeding it, reading it stories. (Just kidding, he probably doesn't do the last one.) When we moved to our teeny tiny lot we sold our riding John Deere to a friend and bought a push mower and with Corey working as many hours and days as he does the grass probably wouldn't even get cut if we didn't pay the neighbor boys to cut. 

When the leaves start to fall I begin to feel the silent judgmental pressure of our cul de sac neighbors to get out there and rake them up. Last year, when I was out raking the neighbor with the perfect lawn came over and was shocked we were raking because the previous owner never did so he and his boys would end up doing it. (I was secretly kicking myself for doing it and not waiting until he did it for us.) Last year Corey helped me. This year I've done it all myself. Which includes bagging the leaves, carrying them up the hill (through the neighbors with the perfect lawns back yard) and dumping them behind our property. Uffda. 
There aren't many leaves left on the tree so I'm holding off on round three until they are all shed. 

Now that I'm done whining (for now) I will bring you to the point of this post. My fall colors tree project, or something like that. I'm not sure if that's the "official" name I want attached to it but that's all I got so I'm going with it.

I decided to try to take a picture of the beautiful/annoying tree everyday to show in dramatic fashion how the colors go from green to pretty fall colors. I missed a day or two here and there but it still turned out awesome. Once they start turning it really goes fast. So here is a GIF off all the pictures.

And here is a side by side of Day 1 and Day 19. In my GIF there is a day 22 but the leaves had started to shed pretty rapidly at that point so I used day 19 because that is before the tree started looking bare.

Do you have a favorite tree that you like to watch change colors every fall?

Our Favorite Oatmeal Muffin Recipe

Recently I've been looking for ways to change up breakfast for me and Stella. Seems like we always have eggs and toast. Or Cheerios and yogurt. And I wanted to incorporate oatmeal somehow. Why? I don't know, because I felt like it sounds healthy. And she doesn't quite know how to use a spoon, aside from banging it on her tray, so she uses her hands to eat oatmeal and turns into a hot mess.

Ok, technically she's eating eggs in this picture but you get the idea. 

So Googled "oatmeal muffins" and found this recipe, it was super easy and turned out delicious. It makes a good base recipe that you can add different fruit or nuts to. I've made several different batches and Stella LOVES them! She literally devours them.

Here is the recipe with pictures the first time I made it. And just so you know I took the pictures with my phone so the quality is not the greatest. You'll also notice that my kitchen is not clean. If I waited until my kitchen was clean and took the time to stage the food as I made it, let's be honest, it would never happen. This is real life people! I'm no Pioneer Woman. I'm a mom to a toddler so I'm lucky if my kitchen is clean once a week.  

So here we go!

First, add 1 cup of almond milk to 1 cup of oatmeal and let soak while getting the rest of the ingredients ready. (I used almond but you can use regular milk too.)

Then, because I didn't have any eggs I used 1 tablespoon ground flax seed and 2-3 tablespoons of water and let that soak for a few minutes. It kinda turns sticky and paste-y. Add 1/4 cup canola oil. I should have taken a picture of that because it seemed like the flax seed mixture and oil would never mix. (Oil and water, weird.) But eventually it did mix together nicely.

In my awesome Pampered Chef bowl (that I don't know the name of) I mixed the dry ingredients; 1/4 cup white flour, 3/4 cup wheat flour (I use a mixture of white and wheat because I like the texture better if there is a little white flour added, that's just my personal preference. It's also something my mom does so I think I got that from her. It's probably just in my head. Who knows.), 1/4 cup white sugar, 1 teaspoon baking soda, 1/2 teaspoon salt and 1 teaspoon cinnamon. (When I made these with apple chunks I added a smidge more cinnamon. Why? I donno, it sounded good.) Mix together well. I used a whisk to try to get rid of any clumps because I'm too lazy to dig out my sifter. 

At this point I realized I forgot to preheat my oven, so I did that. 425 degrees.

  
Then I mixed my oatmeal/milk mixture into the flax seed mixture and poured that mixture into my dry ingredient mixture and mixed until just combined. (Ever say a word so much it loses meaning. Yup, just happened.) 

Next is the part where you can get creative and add whatever goodies you like. The first time I did it I added a few handfuls of Craisins. The second time I added an apple I peeled and cut into small chucks. The third time I added Craisins and apple chucks. Whoa... getting crazy up in here!

Spoon the batter into lined muffin tins (makes about 12 muffins, depending on your goodies) and bake for 15-25 mins until a tooth pick inserted in the center of a muffin comes out clean. Mine are usually good after about 18-20 mins.

I should have taken a picture of a single muffin on a pretty plate but I was too anxious and hungry so I just dug in after patiently waiting for them too cool down.

I hope you enjoy making and eating these muffins as much as Stella and I do! I'd love to hear about your go to muffin recipe or different goodies you add to this muffin recipe.

My Cleaning Schedule

If you've ever been to my house you know that I'm not the best housekeeper. To be honest... I hate cleaning. For reals. 

I go to other peoples houses and wonder, "How do they do it?" Even when I am keeping up with the house work by the end of the day I look around and it looks like I didn't do any cleaning at all! Ugh, it never ends!

When Stella was first born we were living in Elk River, it's a long story and I won't go into it right now but we were living at my parents house. (They had moved out.) I really struggled those first couple months to get anything done. Stella wanted to cuddle all the time and I was enjoying every minute of it. I was still in the early stages of motherhood and finding enough time to even take a shower was a struggle. But because we were living at my parents house everyone and their brother knew where we lived... so it wasn't uncommon for the doorbell to ring unexpectedly in the middle of the day because someone wanted to see the baby. I appreciated all of the love we received and welcomed everyone in the house with open arms but my house was a disaster! We have three dogs... one being a very big dog that sheds more than any dog I have ever seen, so there was constantly dog hair all over the floor. Ick! I feel sorry for those poor people who came to visit and had to sit in my dirty house. 

So when we bought the house in Hastings I decided I needed to step it up and become a better housekeeper. Some days are better than others but most of the time the house is "pop-in ready". Which means if someone were to just "pop-in" unexpectedly the house would be in decent shape and I wouldn't feel sorry for the visitors who had to be in the house. Of course, now we live 60 miles away from Elk River so unexpected pop-ins never happen anymore.

To keep the house "pop-in ready", I created a cleaning schedule. I keep it in a sheet protector on my fridge and use a wet erase marker to check off the tasks. Then I just wipe it off and reuse it the next week. 

Ignore the fact that nothing is actually checked off of this list. :)

Do I do every item listed for the day everyday? No. I try to, but again, some days are better than others. When I do keep up with the list it makes cleaning a lot easier and quicker. Because I'm basically just doing touch ups everyday. Each day I have a different area I focus on, like on Wednesdays I clean the bathroom, (luckily we only have one right now, as the other is being renovated, that long journey will be a future post) this makes cleaning more attainable. If I had to deep clean the entire house in one day it would be overwhelming. This way it is broken up into smaller tasks and I'm more likely to keep up with it. I always feel gross when the house is a mess and now with Stella crawling and getting into everything I feel better knowing the floors have been vacuumed and mopped on a regular basis. 

Here is a close up of my schedule. 

Lately, I've been slacking a bit. (Hence the blank schedule shown hung on my refrigerator.) A lot of my time has been focused on The Harper Project and my new adventure selling candles on my Etsy shop. I'm hoping by posting this it will give me the motivation to get my butt in gear and get back on track. 

Do you have a cleaning schedule that you use to help keep your house clean? What has worked for you and what hasn't? I love getting new ideas!

Candle Making & Etsy

Making votive candles for Memory Boxes.

For part of The Harper Project Memory Boxes I handmade some small votive candles, I had never done any candle making before but I found that I really enjoyed doing it. So I started making more; different scents, colors, and containers. I decided to add them to my Etsy shop. I've had the shop for a while under a different name selling other items (I say selling very loosely) I've made and hadn't really done much with it so I changed the name to reflect the project (and also because I had to register The Harper Project as a "doing business as" name with the Secretary of State and I never did that with my old Etsy shop name) and decided to sell everything with the idea that the proceeds will go towards the The Harper Project Memory Boxes.

Making candles for the Etsy shop.

Not every item in the shop is for The Harper Project or babyloss but some of the items are. But for every item I sell a portion of the *proceeds will go towards the Memory Boxes. I have candles available now and I hope to have different scents available soon. I'd also like to sell other items geared toward babyloss. I'm hand making some bracelets for the Memory Boxes and if I get them figured out well enough I'd like to sell those too. I know that I have looked on Etsy for items specifically designed for babyloss that I can wear or have in the house as a memorial for Harper. 

Here is a breakdown of how much money will go towards the project for each item sold:

4oz candle tin ($6) or jar ($8) - $3 will go towards The Harper Project.
8oz candle tin ($7) or jar ($9) - $4 will go towards The Harper Project.
Nursery Art - $5 will go towards The Harper Project. 
(If you checked out my shop within the last few days, check it out again. I've adjusted some of the shipping prices. I'm still new at this and just got my mail scale from amazon yesterday.)

etsy.com/shop/theharperprojectshop

Any items bought before April 30th will have the donation go towards this years project. Sales after the 30th will go for next year.

It is a way to spread the word about The Harper Project all year and maybe babyloss families can find them on my Etsy shop and use them for their memorials while helping this project as well.

Click here --->The Harper Project Shop to go to the shop.

If anyone in the Elk River, Hastings or Mankato/Janesville area is interested in making a purchase and isn't in a rush for the product contact me first because *if* I can deliver you the items I have a code I can give you for free shipping.

Needed items for Memory Boxes

Donations and items I've collected for the Memory Boxes and Mommy Care Kits.

I've had a lot of people ask me what items are still needed for the Memory Boxes. I have 10 "boxes" put together at this point. Because this project is so new there is a big learning curve for me, so I thought I would list each box and what it has and what it still needs to give people an idea of what I'm still in need of. 

Box #1
Has: Figurine, candle, journal, picture frame, headband, seed packet & stuffed animal
Needs: Bracelet, Blanket
Box #2
Has: Figurine, candle, journal, picture frame, headband, seed packet & stuffed animal
Needs: Bracelet, Blanket
Box #3
Has: Candle, journal, picture frame, headband, seed packet & stuffed animal
Needs: Figurine or keepsake item, bracelet, blanket
Box #4
Has: Candle, journal, picture frame, headband, seed packet & stuffed animal
Needs: Figurine or keepsake item, bracelet, blanket
Box #5
Has: Candle, journal, picture frame, seed packet & stuffed animal
Needs: Figurine or keepsake item, blanket, bracelet
Box #6
Has: Candle, journal, picture frame, seed packet & stuffed animal
Needs: Figurine or keepsake item, blanket, bracelet
Box #7
Has: Candle, journal, picture frame, seed packet & stuffed animal
Needs: Figurine or keepsake item, blanket, bracelet

(Apparently, I can't count because I went from 7 to 9 in my inventorying, so please ignore)

Box #9

Has: Candle, journal, picture frame, seed packet & stuffed animal
Needs: Figurine or keepsake item, blanket, bracelet
Box #10
Has: Candle, journal, picture frame, seed packet & stuffed animal
Needs: Figurine or keepsake item, blanket, bracelet
Box #11
Has: Candle, journal, picture frame, seed packet & stuffed animal
Needs: Figurine or keepsake item, blanket, bracelet

The start of the Memory Boxes coming together, these still need some items and to be decorated.

So you can see that at the moment what I'm in need of the most is keepsake items, blankets and bracelets, also headbands for some of the boxes. 

Keepsake items can be angel figurines, angel ornaments, necklaces with angel wings or baby feet pendants. Or any item that you would give to someone who has just experienced a death in the family. 

Blankets are recommended to be hand made, knit, or crocheted - small in size like receiving blanket size or slightly bigger. Some families may use these blankets to wrap their baby in. 

The idea behind the headbands & bracelets came from the nurse at the hospital who is in charge of the babyloss program. They take pictures of the baby to give to the family and the nurse said she wanted to photograph the baby holding the bracelet and then the mom can take the bracelet home with her. So I'm going to be making a couple myself and I'm using white/cream beads with either pink or blue beads and then a charm. I have baby feet or doves. The headbands are to be put on the girls for pictures as well.

I am also in need of supplies to decorate the boxes. 
Fabric (it takes 3 1/5 ft by 3 ft to cover the boxes and lids, design should be "soft" not too busy or cheerful, soft flower patterns are nice)
Spray adhesive (to attach the fabric to the boxes)
White or cream colored tissue paper (to wrap some of the fragile item in that will go in the boxes)

I have not received any greeting cards. The staff likes to send cards to families on the anniversaries of their loss.

Items for the Mommy Care Kits are another idea if you are looking for something easy and inexpensive. All the items can be found at Target. Click *here* for a link to the list of items needed for the Mommy Care Kits. 

If you have an idea for something you'd like to donate that you don't see listed, please feel free to contact me!!! Donations of all kinds are welcome and the list is just a guideline. 

Click *here* for a link to a list of locations where donations can be dropped off. 

Also, I am planning to do more than 10 boxes so donations of all items are still welcome. (Click *here* for a link to the list of all the items needed.) At the end of the donation time (April 30th is the last day!) I will be using the monetary donations to fill items needed for boxes and buy supplies to decorating the boxes. Any items or money not used this year will be saved for next year.

I want to thank everyone who has already made a donation to The Harper Project! You have no idea how much it means to me to be supported by so many people! 

Please email me stellalynndesigns@gmail.com if you have any questions or to set up a donation pick up. Remember that April 30th is the last day to make your donations! And please put your name with the items that are donated so that I know where they came from!!!

Making the decision to stop breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding when you first start out is HARD. When Stella was first born and I tried breastfeeding she latched on right away and nursed like a pro so I thought, "Hey this will be easy!" 

Boy was I wrong.

As the days passed it became increasingly difficult to get Stella to nurse. At first she was just too tired, she slept ALL the time so I had to wake her up to nurse and she was too tired to try to latch on and would fall asleep instantly when she would. After that when she was awake to nurse she just couldn't get a good latch. The lactation consultant suggested we try nipple shields and those seemed to be helpful but I would have to nurse with the shields and then pump afterwords because the shields blocked nipple stimulation that would produce milk. So I was nursing for 10 mins on each side then pumping for 10 more minutes and I did that for about a week. It was such a process! (I've learned since then that lactation consultants tend to recommend nipple shields for all sorts of reasons that aren't needed.) I decided that I would just pump and then bottle feed Stella the milk. I did that for a couple weeks but I longed for the closeness you get when you nurse. So I went back to using the nipple shields. The lactation consultant said at that point my milk supply should be established enough that I could stop pumping each time after nursing. 

Stella as an itty bitty drinking a bottle of pumped milk.

Two months or so into nursing with the shields I wanted to wean Stella off of them. Even using the shields added an extra step to nursing. I couldn't just whip my boob out whenever Stella was hungry, I had to find the shields, make sure they were clean from the previous nursing session, attach the shield, keep the shield on while trying to get Stella to latch and then finally nurse. UGH! So to wean, anytime I would nurse I would try to get Stella to latch without the shield. Sometimes it would work others not so much. But one day out of the blue she just figured it out. It was so easy and nice not to have anything to hassle with when I wanted to nurse.

After finally mastering nursing, I loved it! It's such a great feeling to be able to give your baby exactly what she needs! And it's FREE! I became one of those moms who would nurse in public without a cover and I wanted to nurse Stella until after she was a year old. Ideally, I wanted to nurse her until she was 2 but we want to have another baby before then so my goal was to make it to the next pregnancy, 12-16 months. 

I loved nursing so much I would barely pump. I had just a few freezer bags with pumped milk for times when someone else would watch Stella. But since we moved, Corey and I do not get out much. Which is okay because we like to spend time with Stella whenever we can. But Corey and I are going to be taking a week long vacation in May, without the little princess. So I started pumping every night but was only getting an ounce or two a day. It was going to be impossible for me get a week long supply at that point. Plus, I would have to take the breast pump with on vacation and pump several times a day. 

Don't worry, you can't see any actual boob...

So with much sadness and regret I've made the decision to stop breastfeeding... I'm weaning Stella slowly. She will be a week or so shy of 11 months when we are completely done. I called our pediatrician (well, the lady I don't like who is covering for our regular pediatrician) and asked her what formula she recommends. And for as much as I didn't like her in person she was actually very reassuring on the phone. She went out of her way to let me know that I had done a great job by breastfeeding for as long as I did and that I shouldn't feel guilty for stopping at this point. She also said it was good for me to start early and slowly wean like I had planned. I felt a little better after talking to her. 


Today was the first day I cut out a nursing session and replaced it with a bottle. I used half pumped milk and half formula. It felt weird for me to give her a bottle... she's always been good at taking bottles but I missed the closeness I felt while nursing. I'm really really sad that I couldn't nurse longer. I mean technically I could, but logistically this is easier. 

How long did you nurse your little one for? Did you struggle when it came time to wean?

Stella's first time being sick.

Stella has never been sick before, besides a little cold or runny noise. I contribute it to my continued breastfeeding and also to the fact that she doesn't get out much so isn't around other sick people. (I'm not sure if that one is a good or a bad thing.) On Monday Stella had a runny nose but was acting normal. On Tuesday she woke up with greenish yellow goo oozing from her eyes and as the morning progressed her skin was turning pink around the eyes. She seemed to be acting normal but a little more fussy then normal. Her forehead felt a little warm but nothing that would make me super worried. I was using Young Living essential oils when I thought it was just a cold but I decided her eyes looked bad enough to bring her to the doctor. 

Our regular pediatrician is out on maternity leave so we saw whatever doctor was available. When we got there she could tell right away that Stella had pink eye. But after looking in her ears found that she also had ear infections in both ears. She also had a temp of 101.3. I felt horrible that I didn't know she had a temperature. I have never taken her temperature rectally, I'm afraid that I'm going to puncture her rectum or something. I keep telling myself that I need to buy one that takes the temperature from the ear I just haven't done it yet. 

We were given a prescription for antibiotics and sent on our way. I should also note that I did not like the doctor we saw, she was very smart but not personable at all. She was very technical in explaining things and for a layperson it was hard to understand. 

For the first couple nights it was really a struggle getting Stella to sleep. Her ears hurt her when she would lay down so we spent a couple nights sleeping in the living room in the lazy boy. But lets be honest, I did not get much sleep like that. So one morning I ended up just putting her in her crib, shut the doors, turned off the monitor, just let her cry it out and I went to bed. She must of fallen asleep eventually because I finally woke up at 9:30 and she was still sleeping. But I got some much needed rest. 

During the day she was a little more fussy then normal but she didn't want me to hold her, she would give me the "stiff arm", as Corey calls it. But if I would set her down she would cry. So that made it hard, I just wanted to comfort and cuddle her but she didn't want that.

Then on Friday I woke up with a horrible sore throat and as the day progressed I started feeling worse and worse. My ears were aching and my temperature was rising. I finally text Corey at 5pm and asked him to come home. (He gets done at 5:30 anyway) Once he was home I went to urgent care and was found to have an ear infection myself. The doctor wanted to give me a prescription decongestant but because I am breastfeeding I can't take that so I'm using Anfrin nasal spray and essential oils. I just started using essential oils and I do think that they work but I'm not at the point where I will use for Stella over medicine that my doctor prescribes. 

But Stella's small bout with sickness made me so thankful that we were blessed with a healthy baby. I can't image what it must be like for parents who have chronically sick kids. I know someone who as I write this has their newborn baby in the NICU. I can't imagine what that family is going through. I'm trying to keep that in perspective when I complain about having to take care of a sick baby.

Plymouth Drop Location Added

For those of you who know me personally, you know that I worked for Jerry's Service Inc. for over 5 years. I was pregnant with Harper while the manager of their Holiday store and after her death I remained employed with the company in a couple different positions. I never went back to work at the Holiday store though because I knew I would never be able to avoid customers unknowingly asking about the "new baby", because they had seen me ballooning for months and then returning unpregnant. Not the best way to deal with the situation probably but at the time avoidance seemed to be the lesser of evils. I did receive cards and condolences from many of the customers and I was so touched by those that reached out to us. 

The owners of Jerry's Service have graciously agreed to let their Holiday Stationstore be an official Drop Site for donations to The Harper Project. They were so amazing to my family during such a difficult time and now they are continuing their awesomeness by becoming a drop site and allowing me to put up flyers in the store as well. 

The store address is: 16825 County Rd. 24 Plymouth, MN 55447  (There are several Holiday stores in Plymouth and a couple close to this location but this particular Holiday Stationstore is the only location accepting donations at this time. If you go to any of the other Holidays they won't have any idea about this project.)

Phone: (763) 551-3914 

Hours: Monday - Friday: 6am - 11pm

             Saturday & Sunday: 7am - 11pm

My Rainy Day Project

I made it to Target today, in spite of the rain/snow outside, and purchased the items for the 5 Mommy Care Kits I am donating. I'm still trying to figure out packaging, I'm thinking organza bags would be pretty. My next trip is to the craft store. I wish I still lived close to St. Cloud because Crafts Direct would definitely be my friend during this project. 

Anyway, all of the items purchased in this picture were found in the sample/travel size section and it only cost $10.02 for all the items pictured. So if you are looking for an easy, inexpensive way to help, a Mommy Care Kit is a great idea and it will be priceless to the mommy receiving it. 

I'm also working on starting a separate website for The Harper Project. I want The Ashmore's; Life, Death & Everything Else to be more of a lifestyle blog about my babyloss journey and updates on our family and the new website will strictly be for things for The Harper Project. Once done, I will make it so that it will link straight from the tab at the top of this blog, so you can still have access to it like before.

But, I hear someone crying for me down the hall... so that's all for now. 

-Sara

The Harper Project - Drop off site

The owners of Chanticlear Pizza in Elk River have graciously offered to make their store a Drop Off site for donations to The Harper Project. 

Store hours: Monday - Thursday: 4pm-9pm
                       Friday & Saturday: 4pm-10pm
                       Sunday: 11am-9pm

Address: 19328 HWY 169, Elk River, MN 55330 

Phone: 763-274-2225

Amateur Photographer?

Ever since Stella was born I've wanted to invest in a really good quality camera. I've been doing research and found that the Canon Rebel T3i was a good camera for a beginner. I wanted something simple because let's be honest, I have no idea what to do with a DSLR camera. All the cameras I've ever had were just point and shoot. Easy, decent picture quality. But now that Stella has arrived, only the cutest baby ever, I wanted something to truly capture her in all her glory.  
So for my birthday I received the funds (thanks to my parents) to make the big purchase. And thanks to Amazon Prime the camera arrived yesterday and has basically been glued to my face ever since. My face actually kind of hurts from closing the one eye all the time.

I've been watching some video tutorials on YouTube to try to figure out what the heck I'm doing. It's been fun playing with the setting and trying to get a feel for how it works. 

Here are some of the pics I've taken over the last day.

This is the original shot, way too bright. Pedro Sanchez Ashmore-Pants

After editing.

As you can see I've been playing with editing also. I use Photoscape, it was a free download and it seems to do a decent job. (In my non professional opinion, of course.)

The two pics below are unedited. 

The following pics are examples of my amazing editing skills. Haha! (I'm so kidding!)

Original

Edited.

Original.

Edited.

So, I've been having a lot of fun with my new camera. And to my photographer friends out there I'm in no way trying to take away from the awesome job you do! Your work is amazing and I can in no way compare my pics to ones taken by you. I still plan on have professionals take pictures of Stella in the future. 

I hope you enjoy seeing better pictures on my blog from here on out!


Update: You may notice that I've begun to put my blog name in the pictures and sometimes they are close to, if not on faces. I've done this because unfortunately there are creepers out there who steal pictures off of blogs and claim them as their own, for whatever reason. So this is in an effort to deter people from doing that. 

Ephesians 4:25-32

"Therefore, putting away falsehood, speak the truth, each one to his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun set on your anger, and do not leave room for the devil. The thief must no longer steal, but rather labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with one in need. No foul language should come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for needed edification, that it may impart grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the holy Spirit of God, with which you were sealed for the day of redemption. All bitterness, fury, anger, shouting, and reviling must be removed from you, along with all malice. And be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving one another as God has forgiven you in Christ." 

Ephesians 4:25-32

Looks like there are some things I need to work on.

Why I gave up Facebook for Lent

For those of you who follow me on Facebook (referred to as Fb through remainder of this post) you may have seen my post about taking a leave of absence for Lent. Technically, I began my fast after Lent had already started but I was unsure of the decision until then. It is something I've always wanted to do but never had the guts.

Why? Why was is so hard to quit that stupid social media craze? 10 years ago this stuff didn't exist and we survived. I survived not knowing what everyone was doing 24 hours a day. They survived without knowing what was going on in my life 24 hours a day. 

Growing up Catholic we always gave up meat on Fridays during Lent. (For those of you who don't know, Lent is the period between Ash Wednesday and Easter Sunday and is geared toward spiritual purification and penance. It lasts about 40 days and is symbolic of the 40 days Jesus fasted in the desert and was tempted by satan.) But because we were kids, we always had cheese pizza on Fridays for dinner instead. So really it was more of a treat for us than a fast. As an adult I tried to carry on the no meat thing but it never failed that I forgot and ate meat. 

"Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil. He fasted for forty days and forty nights, and afterwards he was hungry. The tempter approached and said to him, "If you are the Son of God, command that these stones become loaves of bread." He said in reply, "It is written: 'One does not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes forth from the mouth of God.' " Matthew 4:1-4

This year I decided that I was going to fast from something that I enjoyed. Something that would truly be a sacrifice. I wanted to use it as a way to better myself in the process. So I finally took the leap and took a break from Fb. 

 I haven't even really missed it all that much. I forgot to turn off email notifications so every now and then an email will come through saying how many "friend requests" or "notifications" are pending and that makes me soooo curious but I've resisted the temptation.

"Watch and pray that you may resist temptation. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak."
Matthew 26:41

The biggest thing I've noticed since starting my fast is the way my brain thinks... and it is actually quite concerning to me and may influence my future in the Fb world. But I've noticed my brain is thinking in terms of status updates. When I'm doing something I think to myself how I'm going to update it on Fb. For example, watching TV on Sunday night, my favorite show is The Walking Dead and during the episode all I wanted to do was update my status on Fb about how F'ed up the episode was. (I will not post spoilers for those that haven't seen it.) Or when thoughts pop into my head they are phrased in terms of how I would post it on Fb. "Totally just cleaned my kitchen!" or "Omg, the neighbor is home." 
Update: Perfect example right here, I just got done cleaning out my email inbox and my brain phrased it like I would update my status, "Just got done cleaning out my gmail inbox, haven't done that since 2012!" Seriously, Sara, who cares about that crap!

That is (excuse my language) fucked up! Why is my brain thinking this way?  How can I get it to stop?

If you are my Fb friend you already know that I'm addicted to it. I like to post things about my life all the time... but why do I feel the need to share everything? Is it for likes or comments? Probably. So then why do I feel like I constantly need the validation of my Fb "friends"? If Fb or MySpace (RIP) never existed I'm positive I would not feel the void of not being able to tell everyone about my life and how many likes I received.

I put friends in quotes because, lets be honest, there are real life friends and then there are Fb "friends". Fb "friends" are the friends you were or would never be friends with outside of the internet. You weren't friends in high school and some of them you wouldn't even wave at if you saw them on the street but you comment or like their Fb posts. 

So how do I feel now that I've been off Fb for a week and a half?

I feel fine. I'm not sad because I don't know what everyone else is doing. I really, honestly, don't miss it that much. I am really happy that I am taking a Fb break so that I could come to this realization and hopefully if and when I return it won't be such a fixture in my life. 

There are a couple things that I really do miss about Fb. One, is the invites. People don't send regular email evites anymore or snail mail. (Do people use that term "snail mail" anymore... does anyone born after 1990 even know what that term means?) So there may be events that I am missing. But truthfully I don't go to half of the crap I'm invited too on there unless it's from one of my real life friends. (And they would probably text or call me anyway so this one is kind of a moot point.) The other thing I miss is actually some of those Fb friends that I ONLY talk to through Fb. I should have gotten regular emails or phone numbers from some people on there who I actually want to keep in contact with during my fast. (Krissy, if you are reading this you are one of them! Email me!)

The one thing that Fb was really helpful with was when Harper died. It was a good way to inform people of our loss. The worst thing was running into someone who didn't know what happened and having them see that I wasn't pregnant anymore and asking me "How is the baby?" or "How's the new mommy?" and thanks to Fb it only happened once from a friend who isn't on Fb and a handful of times at work. If I wasn't able to share it on Fb I know it would have happened all the time and I probably would have never left the house out of fear. At that point in my life the comments and love I received through Fb were so appreciated and I felt love from friends and "friends" all over the country. My husband and I would take time each night to read the comments from everyone and it was so emotional and healing to know we were being thought of and prayed for. 

I've decided that I want to spend more time blogging. And some may say well you are just trading one social media outlet for another. Yes, that may be true but with Fb I was constantly connected. I could log on from my phone and I was always checking in. With my blog, I've set aside specific times every week to write and when I'm done I log out and it's over until the next time. I don't waste time scrolling through the blog to see everyone's status updates but I can still keep people that are interested updated on our little family. That's the difference. 

Well this post turned into a longer one that I anticipated. But I think they usually do. Once I start, it's hard to stop. :)

8 month picture... late posting.

I've been trying to take pictures of Stella once a month to show how she is growing. Sometimes I take the pictures really close to the 14th (her birthday) but other times I'm a little late. This time I took the pictures on the 14th but didn't get them edited until now... and I'm due to take her 9 month picture tomorrow. ha! Hopefully I get that one edited and posted a little faster.

The camera I use is just a simple point and shoot so the quality is not the best. I have always put her in the same chair with the same blanket (made with love by our friend Barb) and Paz the penguin. (Paz is actually my stuffed animal but I've been sharing him with Stella.) The idea is if I pose her with the same stuff you can see how she is changing from month to month by comparing the objects around her. But the chair is beginning to pose a slight risk... Stella is crawling and not sitting still so capturing a good picture while she is sitting and not attacking Paz is a struggle, and there is a constant threat that she will try to crawl off the chair before I can catch her. For the 9 month picture I think I am going to employ the aid of the hubs.

Normally, I post the pictures to Facebook but because I'm on a Facebook fast for lent I will post them here for people to check out. 

So without further ado, here is Miss Stella's 8 month picture!

Here she is! The cutest baby ever!

Some extra's to enjoy.

She loves Paz.

We tried doing pictures on the floor but she's just too busy to sit still. Here she is tasting Paz's foot.

Below is a collage of each month to compare her growth. Yes, I know, month 4 is missing. If you can see the paint color in the background of month 3 you'll see why... I was in the middle of painting her bedroom in the new house and with a 4 month old at home it is a LONG and difficult process to try and get painting done while the little one naps or doesn't nap actually. So month 4 came and went and I completely forgot to take it.  

This was actually the best shot I got of her this month but she was posed with a teddy bear and not Paz so technically it doesn't count. But it was so cute I wanted to share it anyway.

She's doing the Michael Jackson...

Hope you enjoyed our pictures!

Cloth Diapers?

When I was pregnant the first time I considered using cloth diapers but I really didn't know where to begin. My mom used cloth diapers on my brother and I but they have changed SO much in the last 30 years and there are so many different styles and brands. There are flats, prefolds (which I'm not even sure of the difference between these two), fitted, all-in-ones, all-in-twos, pockets, hybrids, covers... what?!?

I was planning on going back to work after baby #1 so the idea came and went and I resigned to the idea of using disposables. 

When we became pregnant the second time I again considered using cloth. But was discouraged yet again with all the different types out there. 

Then the thought of ALL THE LAUNDRY... I hate laundry. I've been known to wait until we are out of clean socks and undies before I wash, and I'll be honest, in college I did the whole inside out trick. So the idea of having to wash diapers consistently was terrifying. 

So the baby came and I used disposable. My dream of using cloth diapers fading. I pictured stay at home moms in dresses with a house that was spotless and dinner always done and waiting when dad got home. Perfect little babies and cloth diapers galore. Ha! I knew my house would never be like that. 

But one day as I was surfing Facebook, I noticed that my friend, Melissa, had posted on her blog Just Me and the Boys, about cloth diapers so I contacted her and she offered to show me what these things were all about. I was at her house for a couple of hours and she taught me so much. I never would have had the guts to start using cloth if it weren't for her! 

I got home from her house and placed my first "fluff" order and I've been addicted ever since! I use mostly pocket diapers, covers with inserts or prefolds. It all depends on my mood and the day. My husband prefers the pockets because they are easiest. 

My stash. From left to right; pockets, covers, inserts & prefolds.

Pocket diapers are a water proof cover that have an opening, or "pocket", where the insert is stuffed. It is very similar to a disposable once they are stuffed. Just put on baby and take off. The brand that I use has an opening on each end therefore you don't have to unstuff before washing, the machine agitated the insert out on it's own. That was a main selling point for me. The less pee and poo I have to touch the better. 

Covers are a waterproof shell that you lay an insert or prefold (or fitted) into. The nice part about covers is that you can reuse the cover multiple times until it is soiled. When changing baby just wipe clean the cover and replace the insert or prefold.  

Cloth diapers are so easy, and I actually enjoy doing diaper laundry. Weird, I know. If baby is exclusively breastfed you don't even have to spray off the poo because it's water soluble, just throw the whole thing in the washing machine. Once baby is introduced to solids you do have to spray off the poo and that is not fun but they make Bio Liners that are flush-able. Or they make sprayers that attach to the toilet water line. Right now I use liners but Stella is a very constipated baby so her poops are plop-able at the moment. The amount of pee or poo you touch with cloth is really no different than with disposable diapers. 

Don't get me wrong there have been times that Stella has used disposable diapers and I have thought to myself, "this is so easy, just take it off and through it away!" And I have had some struggles with finding the right detergent and washing routine but I really do like the cost savings and the benefits for Stella and the environment. It makes it all worth it. 

So, that is my cloth diaper journey. Hope you enjoyed my story! Be sure to check out Just Me and the Boys if you are thinking about using cloth, she has a bunch of different diaper reviews and tips that can help you get started. Plus, she just has an interesting blog with giveaways, product reviews and recipes. 

And here is a cute picture of Stella in one of her diapers. Had to include one of those!!!