Amateur Photographer?

Ever since Stella was born I've wanted to invest in a really good quality camera. I've been doing research and found that the Canon Rebel T3i was a good camera for a beginner. I wanted something simple because let's be honest, I have no idea what to do with a DSLR camera. All the cameras I've ever had were just point and shoot. Easy, decent picture quality. But now that Stella has arrived, only the cutest baby ever, I wanted something to truly capture her in all her glory.  
So for my birthday I received the funds (thanks to my parents) to make the big purchase. And thanks to Amazon Prime the camera arrived yesterday and has basically been glued to my face ever since. My face actually kind of hurts from closing the one eye all the time.

I've been watching some video tutorials on YouTube to try to figure out what the heck I'm doing. It's been fun playing with the setting and trying to get a feel for how it works. 

Here are some of the pics I've taken over the last day.

This is the original shot, way too bright. Pedro Sanchez Ashmore-Pants

After editing.

As you can see I've been playing with editing also. I use Photoscape, it was a free download and it seems to do a decent job. (In my non professional opinion, of course.)

The two pics below are unedited. 

The following pics are examples of my amazing editing skills. Haha! (I'm so kidding!)

Original

Edited.

Original.

Edited.

So, I've been having a lot of fun with my new camera. And to my photographer friends out there I'm in no way trying to take away from the awesome job you do! Your work is amazing and I can in no way compare my pics to ones taken by you. I still plan on have professionals take pictures of Stella in the future. 

I hope you enjoy seeing better pictures on my blog from here on out!


Update: You may notice that I've begun to put my blog name in the pictures and sometimes they are close to, if not on faces. I've done this because unfortunately there are creepers out there who steal pictures off of blogs and claim them as their own, for whatever reason. So this is in an effort to deter people from doing that. 

8 month picture... late posting.

I've been trying to take pictures of Stella once a month to show how she is growing. Sometimes I take the pictures really close to the 14th (her birthday) but other times I'm a little late. This time I took the pictures on the 14th but didn't get them edited until now... and I'm due to take her 9 month picture tomorrow. ha! Hopefully I get that one edited and posted a little faster.

The camera I use is just a simple point and shoot so the quality is not the best. I have always put her in the same chair with the same blanket (made with love by our friend Barb) and Paz the penguin. (Paz is actually my stuffed animal but I've been sharing him with Stella.) The idea is if I pose her with the same stuff you can see how she is changing from month to month by comparing the objects around her. But the chair is beginning to pose a slight risk... Stella is crawling and not sitting still so capturing a good picture while she is sitting and not attacking Paz is a struggle, and there is a constant threat that she will try to crawl off the chair before I can catch her. For the 9 month picture I think I am going to employ the aid of the hubs.

Normally, I post the pictures to Facebook but because I'm on a Facebook fast for lent I will post them here for people to check out. 

So without further ado, here is Miss Stella's 8 month picture!

Here she is! The cutest baby ever!

Some extra's to enjoy.

She loves Paz.

We tried doing pictures on the floor but she's just too busy to sit still. Here she is tasting Paz's foot.

Below is a collage of each month to compare her growth. Yes, I know, month 4 is missing. If you can see the paint color in the background of month 3 you'll see why... I was in the middle of painting her bedroom in the new house and with a 4 month old at home it is a LONG and difficult process to try and get painting done while the little one naps or doesn't nap actually. So month 4 came and went and I completely forgot to take it.  

This was actually the best shot I got of her this month but she was posed with a teddy bear and not Paz so technically it doesn't count. But it was so cute I wanted to share it anyway.

She's doing the Michael Jackson...

Hope you enjoyed our pictures!

Cloth Diapers?

When I was pregnant the first time I considered using cloth diapers but I really didn't know where to begin. My mom used cloth diapers on my brother and I but they have changed SO much in the last 30 years and there are so many different styles and brands. There are flats, prefolds (which I'm not even sure of the difference between these two), fitted, all-in-ones, all-in-twos, pockets, hybrids, covers... what?!?

I was planning on going back to work after baby #1 so the idea came and went and I resigned to the idea of using disposables. 

When we became pregnant the second time I again considered using cloth. But was discouraged yet again with all the different types out there. 

Then the thought of ALL THE LAUNDRY... I hate laundry. I've been known to wait until we are out of clean socks and undies before I wash, and I'll be honest, in college I did the whole inside out trick. So the idea of having to wash diapers consistently was terrifying. 

So the baby came and I used disposable. My dream of using cloth diapers fading. I pictured stay at home moms in dresses with a house that was spotless and dinner always done and waiting when dad got home. Perfect little babies and cloth diapers galore. Ha! I knew my house would never be like that. 

But one day as I was surfing Facebook, I noticed that my friend, Melissa, had posted on her blog Just Me and the Boys, about cloth diapers so I contacted her and she offered to show me what these things were all about. I was at her house for a couple of hours and she taught me so much. I never would have had the guts to start using cloth if it weren't for her! 

I got home from her house and placed my first "fluff" order and I've been addicted ever since! I use mostly pocket diapers, covers with inserts or prefolds. It all depends on my mood and the day. My husband prefers the pockets because they are easiest. 

My stash. From left to right; pockets, covers, inserts & prefolds.

Pocket diapers are a water proof cover that have an opening, or "pocket", where the insert is stuffed. It is very similar to a disposable once they are stuffed. Just put on baby and take off. The brand that I use has an opening on each end therefore you don't have to unstuff before washing, the machine agitated the insert out on it's own. That was a main selling point for me. The less pee and poo I have to touch the better. 

Covers are a waterproof shell that you lay an insert or prefold (or fitted) into. The nice part about covers is that you can reuse the cover multiple times until it is soiled. When changing baby just wipe clean the cover and replace the insert or prefold.  

Cloth diapers are so easy, and I actually enjoy doing diaper laundry. Weird, I know. If baby is exclusively breastfed you don't even have to spray off the poo because it's water soluble, just throw the whole thing in the washing machine. Once baby is introduced to solids you do have to spray off the poo and that is not fun but they make Bio Liners that are flush-able. Or they make sprayers that attach to the toilet water line. Right now I use liners but Stella is a very constipated baby so her poops are plop-able at the moment. The amount of pee or poo you touch with cloth is really no different than with disposable diapers. 

Don't get me wrong there have been times that Stella has used disposable diapers and I have thought to myself, "this is so easy, just take it off and through it away!" And I have had some struggles with finding the right detergent and washing routine but I really do like the cost savings and the benefits for Stella and the environment. It makes it all worth it. 

So, that is my cloth diaper journey. Hope you enjoyed my story! Be sure to check out Just Me and the Boys if you are thinking about using cloth, she has a bunch of different diaper reviews and tips that can help you get started. Plus, she just has an interesting blog with giveaways, product reviews and recipes. 

And here is a cute picture of Stella in one of her diapers. Had to include one of those!!! 

Unexpected Grief

When I gave birth to Stella I imagined that I'd be crying with joy and relief that she was finally here. And I was happy, over the moon happy, but I didn't cry. I was more in shock, I think, that I had actually done it. I had carried a baby for 37 weeks in my womb and successfully delivered her alive.

Love was instant. She is the love of my life. Any mother will tell you that the love you feel for your child is indescribable, words cannot express it fully.

I expected the love. What I did not expect was the grief. I did not expect the sadness.

And I'm not talking about baby blues. Fortunately, I do not think that I have been effected by the baby blues. What has happened is my grief for losing Harper has returned. And it has worsened.

At night while I am nursing Stella in her dark room I think about Harper. I get saddened watching my little love so contently at my breast. My heart is filled with love and also grief. I find myself crying, intensely, when I think about the things I do with Stella that I never got to do with Harper.  It is a strange thing to feel so much happiness and sadness at the same time. The more love I feel for Stella, the more sadness I feel for Harper.

And I feel guilty.

Guilty for being so happy. It's not fair to Harper. It's not fair Harper never had a chance to have daddy read her stories at bedtime. It's not fair she didn't get to cuddle in bed with mommy after daddy had gone to work. She didn't even get a chance to meet us outside of my womb.

But it's not fair to Stella either. It's not fair to her that the joy she brings me also makes me sad. It's not fair to her that I long to hold her sister in my arms...