My Rainy Day Project

I made it to Target today, in spite of the rain/snow outside, and purchased the items for the 5 Mommy Care Kits I am donating. I'm still trying to figure out packaging, I'm thinking organza bags would be pretty. My next trip is to the craft store. I wish I still lived close to St. Cloud because Crafts Direct would definitely be my friend during this project. 

Anyway, all of the items purchased in this picture were found in the sample/travel size section and it only cost $10.02 for all the items pictured. So if you are looking for an easy, inexpensive way to help, a Mommy Care Kit is a great idea and it will be priceless to the mommy receiving it. 

I'm also working on starting a separate website for The Harper Project. I want The Ashmore's; Life, Death & Everything Else to be more of a lifestyle blog about my babyloss journey and updates on our family and the new website will strictly be for things for The Harper Project. Once done, I will make it so that it will link straight from the tab at the top of this blog, so you can still have access to it like before.

But, I hear someone crying for me down the hall... so that's all for now. 

-Sara

The Harper Project - Drop off site

The owners of Chanticlear Pizza in Elk River have graciously offered to make their store a Drop Off site for donations to The Harper Project. 

Store hours: Monday - Thursday: 4pm-9pm
                       Friday & Saturday: 4pm-10pm
                       Sunday: 11am-9pm

Address: 19328 HWY 169, Elk River, MN 55330 

Phone: 763-274-2225

Amateur Photographer?

Ever since Stella was born I've wanted to invest in a really good quality camera. I've been doing research and found that the Canon Rebel T3i was a good camera for a beginner. I wanted something simple because let's be honest, I have no idea what to do with a DSLR camera. All the cameras I've ever had were just point and shoot. Easy, decent picture quality. But now that Stella has arrived, only the cutest baby ever, I wanted something to truly capture her in all her glory.  
So for my birthday I received the funds (thanks to my parents) to make the big purchase. And thanks to Amazon Prime the camera arrived yesterday and has basically been glued to my face ever since. My face actually kind of hurts from closing the one eye all the time.

I've been watching some video tutorials on YouTube to try to figure out what the heck I'm doing. It's been fun playing with the setting and trying to get a feel for how it works. 

Here are some of the pics I've taken over the last day.

This is the original shot, way too bright. Pedro Sanchez Ashmore-Pants

After editing.

As you can see I've been playing with editing also. I use Photoscape, it was a free download and it seems to do a decent job. (In my non professional opinion, of course.)

The two pics below are unedited. 

The following pics are examples of my amazing editing skills. Haha! (I'm so kidding!)

Original

Edited.

Original.

Edited.

So, I've been having a lot of fun with my new camera. And to my photographer friends out there I'm in no way trying to take away from the awesome job you do! Your work is amazing and I can in no way compare my pics to ones taken by you. I still plan on have professionals take pictures of Stella in the future. 

I hope you enjoy seeing better pictures on my blog from here on out!


Update: You may notice that I've begun to put my blog name in the pictures and sometimes they are close to, if not on faces. I've done this because unfortunately there are creepers out there who steal pictures off of blogs and claim them as their own, for whatever reason. So this is in an effort to deter people from doing that. 

Ephesians 4:25-32

"Therefore, putting away falsehood, speak the truth, each one to his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun set on your anger, and do not leave room for the devil. The thief must no longer steal, but rather labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with one in need. No foul language should come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for needed edification, that it may impart grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the holy Spirit of God, with which you were sealed for the day of redemption. All bitterness, fury, anger, shouting, and reviling must be removed from you, along with all malice. And be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving one another as God has forgiven you in Christ." 

Ephesians 4:25-32

Looks like there are some things I need to work on.

Why I gave up Facebook for Lent

For those of you who follow me on Facebook (referred to as Fb through remainder of this post) you may have seen my post about taking a leave of absence for Lent. Technically, I began my fast after Lent had already started but I was unsure of the decision until then. It is something I've always wanted to do but never had the guts.

Why? Why was is so hard to quit that stupid social media craze? 10 years ago this stuff didn't exist and we survived. I survived not knowing what everyone was doing 24 hours a day. They survived without knowing what was going on in my life 24 hours a day. 

Growing up Catholic we always gave up meat on Fridays during Lent. (For those of you who don't know, Lent is the period between Ash Wednesday and Easter Sunday and is geared toward spiritual purification and penance. It lasts about 40 days and is symbolic of the 40 days Jesus fasted in the desert and was tempted by satan.) But because we were kids, we always had cheese pizza on Fridays for dinner instead. So really it was more of a treat for us than a fast. As an adult I tried to carry on the no meat thing but it never failed that I forgot and ate meat. 

"Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil. He fasted for forty days and forty nights, and afterwards he was hungry. The tempter approached and said to him, "If you are the Son of God, command that these stones become loaves of bread." He said in reply, "It is written: 'One does not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes forth from the mouth of God.' " Matthew 4:1-4

This year I decided that I was going to fast from something that I enjoyed. Something that would truly be a sacrifice. I wanted to use it as a way to better myself in the process. So I finally took the leap and took a break from Fb. 

 I haven't even really missed it all that much. I forgot to turn off email notifications so every now and then an email will come through saying how many "friend requests" or "notifications" are pending and that makes me soooo curious but I've resisted the temptation.

"Watch and pray that you may resist temptation. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak."
Matthew 26:41

The biggest thing I've noticed since starting my fast is the way my brain thinks... and it is actually quite concerning to me and may influence my future in the Fb world. But I've noticed my brain is thinking in terms of status updates. When I'm doing something I think to myself how I'm going to update it on Fb. For example, watching TV on Sunday night, my favorite show is The Walking Dead and during the episode all I wanted to do was update my status on Fb about how F'ed up the episode was. (I will not post spoilers for those that haven't seen it.) Or when thoughts pop into my head they are phrased in terms of how I would post it on Fb. "Totally just cleaned my kitchen!" or "Omg, the neighbor is home." 
Update: Perfect example right here, I just got done cleaning out my email inbox and my brain phrased it like I would update my status, "Just got done cleaning out my gmail inbox, haven't done that since 2012!" Seriously, Sara, who cares about that crap!

That is (excuse my language) fucked up! Why is my brain thinking this way?  How can I get it to stop?

If you are my Fb friend you already know that I'm addicted to it. I like to post things about my life all the time... but why do I feel the need to share everything? Is it for likes or comments? Probably. So then why do I feel like I constantly need the validation of my Fb "friends"? If Fb or MySpace (RIP) never existed I'm positive I would not feel the void of not being able to tell everyone about my life and how many likes I received.

I put friends in quotes because, lets be honest, there are real life friends and then there are Fb "friends". Fb "friends" are the friends you were or would never be friends with outside of the internet. You weren't friends in high school and some of them you wouldn't even wave at if you saw them on the street but you comment or like their Fb posts. 

So how do I feel now that I've been off Fb for a week and a half?

I feel fine. I'm not sad because I don't know what everyone else is doing. I really, honestly, don't miss it that much. I am really happy that I am taking a Fb break so that I could come to this realization and hopefully if and when I return it won't be such a fixture in my life. 

There are a couple things that I really do miss about Fb. One, is the invites. People don't send regular email evites anymore or snail mail. (Do people use that term "snail mail" anymore... does anyone born after 1990 even know what that term means?) So there may be events that I am missing. But truthfully I don't go to half of the crap I'm invited too on there unless it's from one of my real life friends. (And they would probably text or call me anyway so this one is kind of a moot point.) The other thing I miss is actually some of those Fb friends that I ONLY talk to through Fb. I should have gotten regular emails or phone numbers from some people on there who I actually want to keep in contact with during my fast. (Krissy, if you are reading this you are one of them! Email me!)

The one thing that Fb was really helpful with was when Harper died. It was a good way to inform people of our loss. The worst thing was running into someone who didn't know what happened and having them see that I wasn't pregnant anymore and asking me "How is the baby?" or "How's the new mommy?" and thanks to Fb it only happened once from a friend who isn't on Fb and a handful of times at work. If I wasn't able to share it on Fb I know it would have happened all the time and I probably would have never left the house out of fear. At that point in my life the comments and love I received through Fb were so appreciated and I felt love from friends and "friends" all over the country. My husband and I would take time each night to read the comments from everyone and it was so emotional and healing to know we were being thought of and prayed for. 

I've decided that I want to spend more time blogging. And some may say well you are just trading one social media outlet for another. Yes, that may be true but with Fb I was constantly connected. I could log on from my phone and I was always checking in. With my blog, I've set aside specific times every week to write and when I'm done I log out and it's over until the next time. I don't waste time scrolling through the blog to see everyone's status updates but I can still keep people that are interested updated on our little family. That's the difference. 

Well this post turned into a longer one that I anticipated. But I think they usually do. Once I start, it's hard to stop. :)

8 month picture... late posting.

I've been trying to take pictures of Stella once a month to show how she is growing. Sometimes I take the pictures really close to the 14th (her birthday) but other times I'm a little late. This time I took the pictures on the 14th but didn't get them edited until now... and I'm due to take her 9 month picture tomorrow. ha! Hopefully I get that one edited and posted a little faster.

The camera I use is just a simple point and shoot so the quality is not the best. I have always put her in the same chair with the same blanket (made with love by our friend Barb) and Paz the penguin. (Paz is actually my stuffed animal but I've been sharing him with Stella.) The idea is if I pose her with the same stuff you can see how she is changing from month to month by comparing the objects around her. But the chair is beginning to pose a slight risk... Stella is crawling and not sitting still so capturing a good picture while she is sitting and not attacking Paz is a struggle, and there is a constant threat that she will try to crawl off the chair before I can catch her. For the 9 month picture I think I am going to employ the aid of the hubs.

Normally, I post the pictures to Facebook but because I'm on a Facebook fast for lent I will post them here for people to check out. 

So without further ado, here is Miss Stella's 8 month picture!

Here she is! The cutest baby ever!

Some extra's to enjoy.

She loves Paz.

We tried doing pictures on the floor but she's just too busy to sit still. Here she is tasting Paz's foot.

Below is a collage of each month to compare her growth. Yes, I know, month 4 is missing. If you can see the paint color in the background of month 3 you'll see why... I was in the middle of painting her bedroom in the new house and with a 4 month old at home it is a LONG and difficult process to try and get painting done while the little one naps or doesn't nap actually. So month 4 came and went and I completely forgot to take it.  

This was actually the best shot I got of her this month but she was posed with a teddy bear and not Paz so technically it doesn't count. But it was so cute I wanted to share it anyway.

She's doing the Michael Jackson...

Hope you enjoyed our pictures!

Cloth Diapers?

When I was pregnant the first time I considered using cloth diapers but I really didn't know where to begin. My mom used cloth diapers on my brother and I but they have changed SO much in the last 30 years and there are so many different styles and brands. There are flats, prefolds (which I'm not even sure of the difference between these two), fitted, all-in-ones, all-in-twos, pockets, hybrids, covers... what?!?

I was planning on going back to work after baby #1 so the idea came and went and I resigned to the idea of using disposables. 

When we became pregnant the second time I again considered using cloth. But was discouraged yet again with all the different types out there. 

Then the thought of ALL THE LAUNDRY... I hate laundry. I've been known to wait until we are out of clean socks and undies before I wash, and I'll be honest, in college I did the whole inside out trick. So the idea of having to wash diapers consistently was terrifying. 

So the baby came and I used disposable. My dream of using cloth diapers fading. I pictured stay at home moms in dresses with a house that was spotless and dinner always done and waiting when dad got home. Perfect little babies and cloth diapers galore. Ha! I knew my house would never be like that. 

But one day as I was surfing Facebook, I noticed that my friend, Melissa, had posted on her blog Just Me and the Boys, about cloth diapers so I contacted her and she offered to show me what these things were all about. I was at her house for a couple of hours and she taught me so much. I never would have had the guts to start using cloth if it weren't for her! 

I got home from her house and placed my first "fluff" order and I've been addicted ever since! I use mostly pocket diapers, covers with inserts or prefolds. It all depends on my mood and the day. My husband prefers the pockets because they are easiest. 

My stash. From left to right; pockets, covers, inserts & prefolds.

Pocket diapers are a water proof cover that have an opening, or "pocket", where the insert is stuffed. It is very similar to a disposable once they are stuffed. Just put on baby and take off. The brand that I use has an opening on each end therefore you don't have to unstuff before washing, the machine agitated the insert out on it's own. That was a main selling point for me. The less pee and poo I have to touch the better. 

Covers are a waterproof shell that you lay an insert or prefold (or fitted) into. The nice part about covers is that you can reuse the cover multiple times until it is soiled. When changing baby just wipe clean the cover and replace the insert or prefold.  

Cloth diapers are so easy, and I actually enjoy doing diaper laundry. Weird, I know. If baby is exclusively breastfed you don't even have to spray off the poo because it's water soluble, just throw the whole thing in the washing machine. Once baby is introduced to solids you do have to spray off the poo and that is not fun but they make Bio Liners that are flush-able. Or they make sprayers that attach to the toilet water line. Right now I use liners but Stella is a very constipated baby so her poops are plop-able at the moment. The amount of pee or poo you touch with cloth is really no different than with disposable diapers. 

Don't get me wrong there have been times that Stella has used disposable diapers and I have thought to myself, "this is so easy, just take it off and through it away!" And I have had some struggles with finding the right detergent and washing routine but I really do like the cost savings and the benefits for Stella and the environment. It makes it all worth it. 

So, that is my cloth diaper journey. Hope you enjoyed my story! Be sure to check out Just Me and the Boys if you are thinking about using cloth, she has a bunch of different diaper reviews and tips that can help you get started. Plus, she just has an interesting blog with giveaways, product reviews and recipes. 

And here is a cute picture of Stella in one of her diapers. Had to include one of those!!!