Making the decision to stop breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding when you first start out is HARD. When Stella was first born and I tried breastfeeding she latched on right away and nursed like a pro so I thought, "Hey this will be easy!" 

Boy was I wrong.

As the days passed it became increasingly difficult to get Stella to nurse. At first she was just too tired, she slept ALL the time so I had to wake her up to nurse and she was too tired to try to latch on and would fall asleep instantly when she would. After that when she was awake to nurse she just couldn't get a good latch. The lactation consultant suggested we try nipple shields and those seemed to be helpful but I would have to nurse with the shields and then pump afterwords because the shields blocked nipple stimulation that would produce milk. So I was nursing for 10 mins on each side then pumping for 10 more minutes and I did that for about a week. It was such a process! (I've learned since then that lactation consultants tend to recommend nipple shields for all sorts of reasons that aren't needed.) I decided that I would just pump and then bottle feed Stella the milk. I did that for a couple weeks but I longed for the closeness you get when you nurse. So I went back to using the nipple shields. The lactation consultant said at that point my milk supply should be established enough that I could stop pumping each time after nursing. 

Stella as an itty bitty drinking a bottle of pumped milk.

Two months or so into nursing with the shields I wanted to wean Stella off of them. Even using the shields added an extra step to nursing. I couldn't just whip my boob out whenever Stella was hungry, I had to find the shields, make sure they were clean from the previous nursing session, attach the shield, keep the shield on while trying to get Stella to latch and then finally nurse. UGH! So to wean, anytime I would nurse I would try to get Stella to latch without the shield. Sometimes it would work others not so much. But one day out of the blue she just figured it out. It was so easy and nice not to have anything to hassle with when I wanted to nurse.

After finally mastering nursing, I loved it! It's such a great feeling to be able to give your baby exactly what she needs! And it's FREE! I became one of those moms who would nurse in public without a cover and I wanted to nurse Stella until after she was a year old. Ideally, I wanted to nurse her until she was 2 but we want to have another baby before then so my goal was to make it to the next pregnancy, 12-16 months. 

I loved nursing so much I would barely pump. I had just a few freezer bags with pumped milk for times when someone else would watch Stella. But since we moved, Corey and I do not get out much. Which is okay because we like to spend time with Stella whenever we can. But Corey and I are going to be taking a week long vacation in May, without the little princess. So I started pumping every night but was only getting an ounce or two a day. It was going to be impossible for me get a week long supply at that point. Plus, I would have to take the breast pump with on vacation and pump several times a day. 

Don't worry, you can't see any actual boob...

So with much sadness and regret I've made the decision to stop breastfeeding... I'm weaning Stella slowly. She will be a week or so shy of 11 months when we are completely done. I called our pediatrician (well, the lady I don't like who is covering for our regular pediatrician) and asked her what formula she recommends. And for as much as I didn't like her in person she was actually very reassuring on the phone. She went out of her way to let me know that I had done a great job by breastfeeding for as long as I did and that I shouldn't feel guilty for stopping at this point. She also said it was good for me to start early and slowly wean like I had planned. I felt a little better after talking to her. 


Today was the first day I cut out a nursing session and replaced it with a bottle. I used half pumped milk and half formula. It felt weird for me to give her a bottle... she's always been good at taking bottles but I missed the closeness I felt while nursing. I'm really really sad that I couldn't nurse longer. I mean technically I could, but logistically this is easier. 

How long did you nurse your little one for? Did you struggle when it came time to wean?